Please forgive me
by m-is-for-MollyMansfieldMealing
Summary: When Grace gets suspended from her second school in the past month, how will Connie cope? Well, she turns to the alcohol- and everyone knows that's never a good choice... Idea from the winter trailer, will stay a one-shot :D


**Hope you enjoy! Please review and let me know what you think :D -Sophie x**

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><p>Connie walked through her front door and slammed it shut, sighing heavily.<p>

"Mother?" She called, dumping her bag on the floor by the coat rack and going into her living room. Her mother was sat on the sofa watching TV, but stood up as she entered.

"Well I believe my duties are no longer required." She said icily, not meeting her daughters gaze.

"Perhaps you could stay a little while longer? Just until I finish my paperwork?" Connie asked hopefully, fiddling with the ring that Sam bought her all those years ago.

"No." She replied shortly, pulling on her coat and stalking out of the living room.

"Mother, please!" Connie said, voice raised. "Just an hour longer."

"No, Constance." She swung around to face her daughter, face livid. "Grace is your daughter, not mine. She is your responsibility; not mine, not a nannies, not the neighbours- yours. When are you going to realise that?" The woman shouted, walking out the door and into her car.

Connie stood in silence, frozen to that spot in the hallway.

Maybe she's right, she thought, moving slowly to close the door. As if on autopilot, the clinical lead made her way into the kitchen and to the alcohol cabinet that stood next to her kitchen table. She took a bottle of whiskey, mind numb, trying to get her head around what a failure she had become as a mother.

The woman walked slowly to her sofa in the living room and sat down, pouring herself a large glass of whiskey before downing it in one.

"It's all my fault." She whispered, hand cupping her mouth that had opened slightly in realisation. "It's all my fault. She's never had a proper mother figure. My Grace has become a monster... And it's all my fault."

She sobbed loudly, tears starting to fall thick and fast down her freckled cheeks. Hands shaking, she poured another glass of whiskey and felt the overwhelming burning sensation and it slid down her throat quickly, causing her to cough violently.

I deserve everything I get, she thought, pouring glass after glass of the wicked liquid. I deserve the hatred that's directed towards me at work, I deserve the enraged look in my daughters eye, I deserve my mothers disappointment. "I deserve _EVERYTHING_." She screamed, swiping the glass vase off of her table and watching it shatter on her laminate flooring. The broken shards reflected the light from her chandelier, causing them to glint maliciously, tempting her to go closer and to touch them. But that would end in blood being drawn, and she knew it. It was a hazard, just like what she had become.

"I should apologise." She whispered, coming to the sudden realisation. "I should... Apologise." Connie swayed as she stood, stumbling round the coffee table and into the hall. Clutching the banister for dear life, she ascended the stairs to her daughters bedroom.

"Grace, Grace darling I'm so sorry." She cried, knocking at her door. She tried to open it but it remained firmly locked.

"Go away." She shouted angrily.

"Please, sweetheart, please. I just want to apologise. I've been a crap mother and I know it. Please forgive me." She wailed, slurring her words as she wiped away the tears that dripped down her face.

"No! You're useless and you're never there for me. _I hate you!_." She screamed.

"_I'm sorry!_" Her mother screamed back, hitting her hand hard against the door in both anger and anguish. "_I'm sorry ok?! What more do you want from me Grace?!_"

"_I WANT A MUM LIKE EVERYONE ELSE! ONE THAT ACTUALLY TALKS TO ME AND ASKS ME IF I'M OK INSTEAD OF IGNORING ME ALL THE TIME._" The little girl cried back, obviously crying now too.

"Oh I don't need this." Connie snarled, "what I need is more alcohol." She turned to walk back down the stairs but the landing span before her eyes. Before she could sit down, the woman collapsed- and subsequently tumbled down the stairs like a forgotten teddy bear.

There was silence. An ear splitting, deafening silence. Tentatively, Grace opened her door, peering out.

"Mum?" She said, voice barely above a whisper. Reluctantly, she stepped out of her room and looked down the stairs- and screamed.

"_MUM_!" She yelled, running down the stairs. "Mum are you ok?"

There was no answer from the clinical lead who laid motionless on the floor, a pool of blood emerging from underneath her head.

Grace shook her gently by the shoulders but it was no use- she had been knocked unconscious. The girl grabbed the telephone and dialled the number that kept her mother in work and her in education- 999.

"Hello princess I'm Jeff, I'm a paramedic. Can you tell me what happened?" Jeff smiled down at Grace once they had reached the house. Dixie was just emerging from the ambulance, stretcher in hand.

"It's my mum, she fell down the stairs." Grace said, trembling as she spoke and pointed to her mother on the floor.

"Is that?" He said, peering at her. "Dix, it's Connie!" He shouted, causing her to run in, slightly breathless.

"Our Connie? Oh god. Right, check her neck and we'll get her onto the stretcher and into the ambo." She said, laying down the large make shift holder on the floor.

"Will she be ok?" Grace said, voice wavering.

"I'm sure she'll be fine once we get her back to the ED." Dixie said kindly, "are you her daughter?"

"Yes, I'm Grace." She smiled slightly before turning back to watch as Jeff got her onto the stretcher.

"Come with us darlin' and we'll get you both sorted, ok?" Jeff smiled, picking up one end of the stretcher as Dixie got the other.

"Ok."

They got into the ambulance, Grace showing Dixie where the keys were so she could lock the front door, and they made their way back to the ED.

"Right this is Connie as you all know, 34, fell down a flight of stairs. She's been drinking and has a deep laceration above her ear. Oh, and this little lady is her daughter, Grace, as some of you know." Dixie said in a rush as they burst through the doors. Zoe, Charlie and Robyn were on hand in resus.

"Right let's check A's, B's and C's please, and U's and E's too. Get a litre of blood cross matched and book her in for an urgent CT scan please Robyn." Zoe said, helping transfer Connie to the bed and inserting a line.

Grace watched all this from the doors, not daring to move any closer. Robyn finished on the phone and came over to her.

"Nice to meet you Grace, I'm Robyn. Why don't we go for a drink, mm? Let Zoe and Charlie do their thing?" She asked kindly, putting her arm around the girl who was now shaking like a leaf with fear. She let herself be led out to reception by the nurse and to the staffroom.

Once Connie was stable, they let Grace in to sit with her. The girl started to cry when she saw the state of her mother. She had her eyes closed and was deathly pale, with wires and tubes connected all over the place. She looked very small in that bed- almost as small as me, she thought.

Grace went to sit on the chair next to the bed, and sat motionless for a minute, just thinking before reaching out and covering her mothers hand with hers.

"I forgive you." The little girl whispered, "please get better. I love you lots, I promise, just please, please get better."

Her mothers hand moved slightly beneath hers and she clasped it weakly.

"I love you too." Connie whispered faintly before drifting off to sleep.

Grace didn't leave her side all night, keeping a tight grip on her mothers hand.


End file.
